Not something you expected to be covered in a back-to-school series, but I’ve been thinking of ways to talk more openly about sex with my kids over the summer with new questions arriving and finding I didn’t have the answers I wanted or the right words in that moment. Funny how you can be so close to your children and get to the point of discussions about your body, sex, body parts, etc. and not be able to communicate properly. Something that surprised me because I’m very comfortable talking about most things with my kids. After checking out Meg Hickling’s book called Boys, Girls, & Body Science and also her SUPER helpful DVD where you watch Meg give her presentation about body science to parents/teachers and then a difference presentation to children – I learned a different approach that I honestly wish I had learned 7 years ago when my oldest started preschool. Because as Meg says multiple times, preschool aged children are the easiest to discuss these topics with and I totally agree. If you tackle the topic of sex and stick to treating it like body science, rather than an uncomfortable topic….you are on the path to open, honest, and must easier dialogue with your children.
What has taken me so long to initiate more conversations on this topic? My children don’t get sex education in their school, unlike most of their peers, which is really too bad. A lot of parents I’ve talked with rely on their children receiving sex education at school, because the topic has been avoided at home. After learning my body science from Meg, even if you’re children do get the talk at school, you should be asking questions and keeping the dialogue open. I was really surprised to learn that children as young as Grade 2 and 3 can start having nocturnal emissions or start menstrual cycle. If you are like me and will be handling sex education at home, I urge you to check out Meg’s lecture & books via your library or the websites listed at the bottom of this article. She empowers you with the ability to find the words to properly express body science. Do you still think children of a certain age are ‘too young’ to learn about body science? Here are some facts I learned from Meg that convinced me that younger children are ready and a great audience for sex education:
– sexual abusers admit that they target children that are uneducated about body parts because it proves a gap in communication between child and parent increasing the chances of abusers not being ‘told on’ .
– children as young as 7 years old can experience a period (girls & scientific name menstruation) or wet dream (boys although the scientific name is nocturnal emission) and worry that something is wrong with them.
– dispel myths that friends or cousins have taught the child. If they aren’t learning body science at home or school…where do you think they are getting information?
– give children the opportunity to understand mechanical curiosity.
– whoever says ‘no’ rules.
What is my recommendation on speaking about sex? Gather a group of like-minded moms together and order the DVD as a group. It’s a really great launching pad and I’ll be sharing my copy with many of my friends who have expressed discomfort. Having a copy of the DVD among a few families is cost effective and a great resource. The relief you feel at understanding this can be explained as ‘science’ is really liberating and the stories and tips from Meg with have you laughing out loud wondering what the big deal is! And why you weren’t saying “the penis goes into the vagina to deliver the sperm to the ovum” from the time your kids were in preschool. And if you are like me and all your children are older than preschool, don’t worry – there are many chapters in the book “Speaking of Sex Book” that can help with speaking to older children. Meg gives you the body science tools to initiate body science discussions with kids of all ages and I’m already thinking of questions I can ask my kids to test their body science. The only people experiencing discomfort are adults and when you are given the tools to provide factual information with easy-to-understand words, the discussions get so much easier!
To find a copy of the book called Boys, Girls & Body Science you can simply click here or it’s available in many bookstores across Canada via www.chapters.indigo.ca, www.amazon.ca and via the website www.harbourpublishing.com